It may have been a very long time since you have felt fully open to yourself and others. You may not be able to remember a time when you have been so filled with love and joy and your full range of feeling. Or maybe those experiences come often, but you imagine there might be so much more to feel…and it feels just out of your reach, just off the edge of your fingertips…
And you are right.
There is more. And you can access it right now.
It’s Not Your Fault
Unfortunately, our western culture is designed in a way that leaves little room for the feminine. Because our western culture still has not yet woken up to a healthy and mature masculinity, the femininity that is most often seen and revered is only that which is accepted by an unhealthy masculine.
This unhealthy masculine keeps it from being safe to open as the fullest expression of your femininity…from your soft, tender side to the oceanic tidal waves of rage that may strike without notice. Your softness isn’t safe in the not-yet-matured masculinity of our culture. And your rage, that may very well come from your ability to feel the subtle nuances of presence lacking in those around you, is written off as you “being crazy,” or it being “that time of the month again.”
With a male-dominated culture and hundreds of generations before you that lost appreciation, respect, and reverence for your femininity (both in women and themselves, as men have work to do in their feminine as well), you were likely never given a healthy role model and space for your femininity to flow freely.
The kinks you feel in you femininity…they’re not your fault.
But you do have the power to choose to take responsibility for unkinking the hose that fills your fullness and opening authentically to who you are.
When Your Femininity is Closed, You
Across the board, the women that I speak with, young and old, who lived closed to their own femininity may not necessarily recognize or be aware of the source of their closure as being closed to their femininity. (Though they quickly realize it as the source.)
But they all share some very common challenges that, if their femininity flowed fully and freely, they each recognize that it would drastically improve their lives.
Maybe you can see yourself in some of these, too…
- Men are more drawn to your “more radiant” women friends than to you.
- Your intimate relationships, while not “bad,” become comfortable and begin to feel stale.
- You fall asleep each night feeling like another day has passed with even more of you that has gone ungiven, unseen, unheard, and unknown.
- Your days each feel like “just another day,” you feel stuck, and you don’t quite know how to get unstuck.
- When you walk into a room, you know you have the power to light it up with your love, but for some reason feel like you must hold back.
- In your intimate relationships, you are often with men who don’t see the things that are so obvious and maybe even painful to you.
- You know it’s possible to connect more often and more deeply, with women and with men, but feel yourself holding back and you don’t know why…
- You seem to recurrently attract men who simply can’t meet you in your fullness. So you hold back and hope one day they figure it out. Which, they don’t. And then you find yourself repeating the cycle again and again.
Your Unencumbered, Open Fullness Doesn’t Have to Be Held Back Any Longer. In Fact, it’s Only You that is Holding Yourself Back.
As a man who helps women open more fully into their femininity, I’ve become finely attuned to the subtle nuances of your closure; where it happens, when it happens, how much it happens, and the clues as to why you might have closed.
Those brief moments of closure, the men and women around you feel them. They may not be able to articulate them, and they may not have the awareness or language to describe it, but they are certainly felt. This is the closure that keeps men at a distance. It is the same closure that leads to safe-but-mediocre intimate relationships. And it is the same closure that leaves you feeling unseen and your gifts ungiven at the end of each day.
But, most importantly, it is this closure that keep your own light dim and unseen, your own love left ungiven, and your own self unknown. It is this closure, where you may feel that you’re keeping it all in, that actually leaves you drained of the love that you know you are.
The Only Way Out…
It is my experience that the best way to work through all of this is to go through it. You can no longer avoid it. You can no longer tap dance and tip toe around it. You can no longer objectively view it from a distance over wine with your girlfriends as though it were a dress in a shop window.
The only way out is through.
The only way to unchain your resistances, to unkink the flow of love in your life, to reclaim the fullness of your deepest essence and truest nature, is to go into that resistance.
You must go feel through it…through the fear, through the uncertainty, and through the tension that surrounds the closure in your life. Only by feeling through the resistances will you be able to bring down the walls surrounding your heart.
They can not be demolished or attacked from the outside…brute force only makes makes them thicker, taller, and stronger. Those walls will only come down by walking through them to understand with love and compassion why they are there and the purpose they serve.
When the Walls Come Down
For every woman, it’s a different experience to have the walls come down from around your heart.
Take a moment to yourself right now.
Feel into it in this moment.
How would your life change if you felt you no longer had to hold yourself back? If you no longer held back and your truest essence flowed freely from you, how would it impact your relationships with the women and men in your life? If those walls came down and you knew what it was like to feel the fullness of your femininity in every moment of every day, day in and day out, how would you feel different in this moment? And the next moment? And the moment after that?
How I Can Help You
Before I go into the details of how I can help, it is important for you to know that I keep only five active clients and each one goes through a reviewal process to make sure I can help. I never want to try and work with someone who I’m not confident I can help. And that obviously goes for you, too. We’ll both decide together if we’re a good fit.
If we both decide to work together, we’ll begin a series of six sessions (in-person or via online video.) which must be done within eight weeks. I understand that things come up which require rescheduling and there may be a week here or there where you simply need to take time to yourself and process the previous week’s coaching. But this process also needs to happen in a short enough timeframe in order to be effective. So you can do the initial phase in as fast as six weeks or as long as eight.
In these six sessions, you will learn a system and process that I’ve designed to help you become more aware of where you’re holding back your femininity with yourself and with others. We’ll uncover and dive into the areas of resistance that are most holding you back and navigate those areas together. Along with going into the resistances, I will give you daily practices at the end of each session that will help you not only to dissolve your resistances, but to also help you open further into the fullness of your femininity.
At the end of these six weeks, we’ll both decide together how to move forward. For some women, these six weeks are enough. For others, they’ve decided to commit even more time and energy to this area of their life and we continue working together for as long as they continue finding it valuable.
Schedule a Session to Discover How to Best Work Together
Contact me with any questions you might have or if you’d like to discuss working together.